We often tend to forget that baby steps still move us forward...
It's been twelve weeks since I gave birth to my sleeping son. Twelve weeks of trying to be brave, of putting on a smile, of saying the right things but twelve weeks of inevitably breaking down, shedding a tear and sharing my raw heart.
When I look back on the weeks that have passed I am filled with disappointment that I now find myself on sick leave with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I feel like a failure, like I've let down those around me and that surely the grace that people have for me must be wearing thin. Often we look at everything that we have felt and experienced and generalise that season with our overriding emotion, mine being deep sorrow.
Though when I step back and lift the paintbrush from the canvas I see moments of glimmering hope, of good conversations, of new connections and of good decisions. You see, when you are in the darkest valley, when grief weighs heavy on your chest and when you question whether you will ever see any light again you forget to see that you have been moving forward all along.
So today, I challenge you to look at how you have moved forward. Maybe you just took a shower? Maybe you walked your dog? Maybe you told someone how you were feeling. Each of these things are so tiny to someone who isn't under the weight of grief, but to the bereaved, to the hopeless they are baby steps and baby steps that are moving you forward.